


midnight snack

by rudesunyoung



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Insecurities, Romance, Slice of Life, food blogger!jennie, lisa has chronic insomnia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 01:44:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20145511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rudesunyoung/pseuds/rudesunyoung
Summary: On nights that she can’t sleep, Lisa takes comfort in reading through her favorite food blog.





	midnight snack

**Author's Note:**

> if you're watching mindhunter on Netflix, there's a spoiler in here for the last episode.  
also, all the places I mentioned are real restaurants

**09/25/2019 **

**7:37 PM**

**Mr Coco**

**POSTED BY JENNIEEATS**

Situated between Vanderbilt Ave and Clint Ave, Mr. Coco is a small, unassuming 24-hour convenience store with everything from beer and vegetables to fruit, dairy, and quality kimchi. Although it is a bit out of the way for me, Mr. Coco is a nice little spot if you want a quick meal, some yummy Asian snacks, or a tube of chapstick. 

Since I am a connoisseur of beer LOL, I have to tell you that their selection is pretty good and cheap. If you stop by, make sure you tell the owner, Mickey, that Jennie sent you and you’ll get half off a case of beer. BUT PLEASE MAKE SURE TO DRINK RESPONSIBLY :) 

If you’re hungry, I recommend walking over to eat a ready-made sushi pack or try some of their deliciously made ice creams. 

The store is incredibly small and a tight fit, causing you to maneuver between shelves and food displays, but you should be able to find anything you might need and if not, just ask someone, the manager is incredibly friendly!

If you do visit, let me know in the comments below what you think and as always, have a good day!

889 page views, 103 comments

Lisa rubs her eyes as she kicks the blankets off of her legs and sits up all the way. She looks at the top of her phone, noting that it’s 3:33 am and sighs as she slides off her bed. She can’t sleep tonight. That’s nothing new, but now her stomach is starting to grumble the longer she lays awake and since she didn’t go grocery shopping on Sunday, she knows that there’s barely anything in her fridge. 

She sets her phone on the nightstand and pulls a faded grey hoodie over her head and shuffles her feet into her slides while she looks for her wallet and keys. 

At first, she had spent most of the night finishing up a sketch for a library model that she needed to show her professor tomorrow. It was coming along, but it was coming along slowly, and in order to get some time in the studio, her sketch needed to be finished and approved. It usually never took this long to finish a design, but her insomnia was acting up more than usual. She tried to take a nap, but would just wake up thirty minutes later with a headache or have trouble falling back asleep. It could have been the stress of their first modules coming up that was making it difficult to sleep, but it was also making it harder to concentrate on her work. 

When Lisa found her things, she stuffed her wallet into the pocket of her hoodie and shut the door of her apartment before making her way downstairs. When she made it to the end of the street, Lisa turned on Google Maps and typed in the name of the convenience store, watching as it calculated the distance before a route came on and told her it was a ten-minute walk from where she was at. 

“That’s not bad,” she murmured. 

Lisa wondered if Jennie lived somewhere around Brooklyn, most of the places she recommended in her blog were in the area, but then again, she did say that it was out of her way so Lisa was unsure. Maybe she just liked the food around here or went to school in Brooklyn. 

While Lisa walked, she slipped her headphones on and listened to an album from one of her favorite bands, Epik High. The air was cool against her skin, pushing her hair against her face and causing her to lick her lips as she shivered slightly. There were people walking along the street too, some drinking and laughing with their arms intertwined with another person, others bicycling pass, and a woman sitting on the curb watching something on her phone. 

Lisa looked at the street lights, watching as they cast shadows on the sidewalk and the crows that sat perched on the powerlines, gawking down below and flying away whenever a car honked its horn. 

When Lisa made it to the next block, she pulled one of her headphones out, seeing the storefront of the convenience mart in the distance. She looked both ways before quickly jogging across the street and reading the words Mr. Coco in orange and white block letters. There was a fruit stand put in place, piled with crates of oranges, apples, melons, cantaloupes, and fresh cabbage. The OPEN neon sign glowed in the window as the man at the register looked through the glass and waved at Lisa. 

Hesitantly, she lifted her hand up and waved back before pulling the door open and walking inside. 

“Jennie was right,” she whispered. 

The convenience store was incredibly small with barely any room to fit two people down an aisle. On one wall, there was different brands of hand soap, shower gel, lotion, and shaving cream arranged by brand and then color. There was even more produce in the back and a line of bread on the shelves that looked close to the expiration date. On the shelf behind that, there was a stack of multivitamins and powder protein lined up next to each other and at the bottom, pre-packaged fresh sushi. 

Lisa pulled out her phone and snapped a picture before grabbing a California roll and heading to the front. 

“Is that all?” the man smiled as he rung up Lisa’s purchase. 

“Yeah- yes, that’s all.”

“1.50, do you want a bag or no bag?”

Lisa handed the money over and shook her head as she took the sushi. “No thank you.”

“Okay, have a good night. Make sure you get home safely.”

Lisa smiled, her eyes briefly flickering down to the nametag on his shirt that read MICKEY in black marker. He was an older man, with specks of gray in his dark hair that was more apparent on the sides. His glasses were large but they shifted every time he smiled because his nose would scrunch up and oddly, Lisa thought that he reminded her of a character from a Ghibli film. 

“Thank you, you have a good night too.”

On the way back home, Lisa took her time; listening to her music as she ate from the package of sushi and stopped to throw some food at the pigeons. As she climbed the stairs to her unit and unlocked the door, she was already finished, chucking the box into the trash and pulling her hoodie off to throw it on the couch. 

After brushing her teeth and changing out of her clothes, Lisa grabbed her phone and pulled up Jennie’s website, scrolling down to her post and uploaded the picture she took of the sushi.

**Lalalalisa_m:** went to the convenience store tonight. You were right, it was a really small space but the sushi was excellent! Did mickey remind you of Akio from Spirited Away by any chance??

Lisa shut her phone off and slid it underneath her pillow, pulling the comforter over herself and hoping that she could at least get three hours of sleep.

* * *

The problem with hardly ever getting enough sleep, is that Lisa tends to hallucinate. Not anything seriously. Like for instance, she might set her phone on the nightstand and then lay down, only to see it on her pillow. But it’s not _really_ on her pillow because after she rubs her eyes a few times and checks the nightstand, lo and behold, her phone is in the exact same spot that she left it. 

She might pour the milk on the counter instead of in her bowl of cereal because she’s bleary-eyed and she has a splitting headache for only sleeping an hour at most. She might mishear her stop and get off at the wrong station, only to realize that she was supposed to get off on Franklin Ave. not 125th Street, and thus has to walk nearly seven blocks to make it before her first class on campus.

So with the three hours of sleep she had last night and the large iced americano she downed between her advanced design class and comprehensive studio, it doesn’t come as a shock to her when she sits down in the dining hall and drops her phone into her spaghetti when she opens Twitter. 

Jisoo stops eating, her fork halfway to her mouth, as she blinks and then blinks again before setting her fork down and hesitantly waving a hand in front of Lisa. 

“Are you okay?”

Lisa doesn’t answer, instead, choosing to stare ahead at the _‘ball 4 life’_ sticker on her water bottle that Jisoo had put on there when she tried out for the university team freshman year. She never took it off and now it was just there. Instead of _'ball'_ though, it should have said _'dead'_ because that’s what it felt like- it felt like she was going to be dead for life if this was real. 

She squeezed her eyes shut and swallowed so hard that it felt like her tongue had gone down her throat too. It’s another minute before she opens them and when she does, Jisoo is cleaning off her phone, wiping the tomato sauce off of the screen and pulling a string noodle off the camera. 

She glances up at Lisa, her brow creased in concern before she slides the phone across the table, nudging Lisa’s knuckles slightly. 

“Lisa? Seriously, what’s wrong?”

She has to take another second to collect her thoughts, to think about what she wants to say to Jisoo but she can’t. Instead, she holds up a finger and stares at her phone that’s face down on the table. It almost feels like if she stares hard enough, her mind will tell her that she didn’t really have an unread message in her dm’s and that her eyes were playing tricks on her again. 

She licks her lips, feeling the rough skin at the corner of her mouth before she sighs and opens her phone back up. 

Nope. 

It’s still there.

_So much for that,_ she thinks.

She stares at the blue **‘1’** over her inbox before clicking on it and waiting with bated breath as the screen loads and displays the username **jennieeats.**

Lisa promptly drops her phone in her plate of spaghetti again.

* * *

Lisa doesn’t open up her Twitter again until she’s back home in the comfort of her bedroom with a bowl of ice cream nestled in her lap and wearing a Disney hoodie too big for her. Jisoo bought it for when they went to Disneyland for her twentieth birthday and she would never admit it out loud but it’s one of her favorites. 

It’s what gives her the courage to open up the app and pull up her messages. It’s what gives her the courage to click on the message and stare at the username for a long minute.

**Jennieeats:** hi! I hope this isn’t weird but i read your comment on my post and I just had to respond to it. I honestly can’t stop laughing at your comparison, i never really thought of that, but he really does look like akio! hahahaha

It’s so...it’s so..._cute._

It’s really cute and Lisa has no idea what to do with that information because she honestly can’t believe that the girl that runs her favorite- her only favorite- food blog really took the time to message her back. On Twitter! In her dm’s nonetheless!

Lisa stares at the message, reading it and then rereading it again just to make sure it’s real before she screenshots it and sends the picture to Jisoo.

**From: Lisa 5:25 PM**

DO YOU SEE THIS!!! IM FREAKING OUT AHSDLFJA

She can see the bubbles that appear as Jisoo types back and her heart is hammering so hard in her chest it feels like it’s about to pop.

_Dying from a dm, what a way to go,_ she thinks.

**From: Jisoo 5:27 PM**

What the fuck is this??

Lisa chokes, replying back quickly as she notes that she needs to explain her internet crush more in-depth to Jisoo later.

**From: Lisa 5:28 PM**

The girl! Remember?? She runs that food blog that I’m always on! She messaged!!! Me!! Back!! I just posted some stupid comment on one of her posts and this happens!!

**From: Jisoo 5:30 PM**

You mean that one chick that you had a dream about in Venice where she fed you a cannoli and then you ate her out in a gondola?? That jennie???

**From: Lisa 5:31 PM**

OKAY

**From: Lisa 5:31 PM**

…

**From: Lisa 5:32 PM**

YES….HER

**From Jisoo 5:35 PM**

Holy shit…

Lisa was in the middle of typing back a reply when Jisoo sent her another text message.

**From: Jisoo 5:37 PM**

DON’T RESPOND TO ME! I’M TRYING TO CLIP MY TOENAILS1! Message her BACK

Lisa groans, leaving iMessage to go back to Twitter and open her DM. The message stares back at her, almost taunting her, and it’s pretty pathetic that she feels like she has a lot to say but she doesn’t want to come off too strong or creepily obsessed with the other girl. 

“Why is this so fucking hard?” she mutters. 

Her thumbs shake as they hover over the keyboard and she glances at the time stamp, 12:25 PM. That was nearly five hours ago. Should she have responded sooner? No, right? That would make her seem too eager and she DEFINITELY didn’t want that. 

But was it already too late? How long did people usually wait between messages before responding? 

“Oh, fuck~” she whined. 

Why was this stressing her out so much?! 

“Just respond you fucking idiot,” she groaned. 

Lisa took a deep breath and read over the message again before deciding to reply.

**Lalalalisa_m:** oh my god, hi! I’m one of your biggest fans 

Lisa bites her tongue and erases that, that’s probably weird.

**Lalalalisa_m:** oh my god, hi! I follow your blog, but you probably know that already LOL. I honestly can’t believe you messaged me...i’m honestly a nobody

“No, no, no, that’s too depressing,” she frowns.

**Lalalalisa_m:** oh my god, hi! I follow your blog, but you probably know that already LOL. I honestly can’t believe you messaged me, so NO IT’S NOT WEIRD. I’m glad I made you laugh hahaha but yeah, I just couldn’t get the reference out of my head lol. I just have to say this, I really love your blog and the places that you recommend, they’re really good. 

As soon as she sends the message, Lisa tosses her phone onto the sheets and falls back against her pillows. This is either the stupidest thing she’s ever done or the greatest. She can’t really tell because her fingers are tingling and it feels like she might have a panic attack. 

She almost wants to read her message again and try to delete it but she’s scared to even open her phone.

Jennie won’t respond right away, right? Well, it’s still early but maybe she’s busy? She has to be busy. Probably having dinner with her friends right now at another good restaurant...or maybe she’s a university student too? 

While Lisa’s trying to think about whether or not Jennie’s ever made a post and mentioned something about her school, her phone buzzes somewhere between her sheets and it’s almost embarrassing how fast she dives for it.

She unlocks her phone, almost biting her tongue off when she sees that it’s a notification from Twitter. 

It’s from Jennie. Of course, it’s from Jennie. 

**Jennieeats:** omggg, that’s really sweet <3 I’m glad you like my blog so much. Honestly, I didn’t expect it to be so popular, I just wanted to share all my favorite spots. I saw the sushi you ate last night, it looked so good! I was jealous~ 

**Jennieeats:** Btw, i have to tell Mickey that you said he looks like akio now :)

“She saw the sushi!” Lisa wheezed.

She rolled over on the mattress, pushing her face into the pillow, before coming up for air and grabbing her phone.

**Lalalalisa_m:** honestly, i’ve lived in New York my whole life and I didn’t even know half of the places on your blog. It’s so pathetic lol. All the delicious food that I missed out on :( 

**Lalalalisa_m:** I’m so embarrassed...the sushi was so good I finished it all before I made it home.

**Lalalalisa_m:** DON’T TELL HIM THAT!!

**Jennieeats:** oh, so you’re a New Yorker? I’m actually not from here, I moved to New York for university. At first, it started as a hobby then I started documenting all the restaurants I visited and the rest is history...lol. There’s so much food here, though, I’m sure I haven’t even scratched the surface so we can be pathetic together :)

**Jennieeats:** The sushi is delicious hahaha and why not??

_So she was a university student,_ Lisa mused. She wondered what year she was in and what she was majoring in. Did they go to the same university? It could be possible...but that was unlikely, there were many colleges in the state and for all Lisa knew, Jennie probably attended someplace like Columbia University, an Ivy League, it made sense. At least, it fit the idea that Lisa had constructed of her already. 

**Lalalalisa_m:** well, I’m actually Thai but I was raised my whole life in New York. Oh, i attend university too! If you don’t mind me asking...what do you study? I’m in my third year, I’m an architecture major. This is so embarrassing ...I stumbled across your blog from my friend actually, I think this was in 2014? And I’ve been following ever since….please block me. 

**Lalalalisa_m:** BECAUSE, he’s probably gonna know it was me and then I won’t be able to show my face in there ever again :((

**Jennieeats:** Oh, that’s so cool! I lived in Thailand for a couple of years growing up. What part are you from? I lived near Chiang Mai. I don’t mind! I’m in my last year and I’m a communication major. You’ve been following me since my inception?? 

**Jennieeats:** GROSS :(( my pictures were so crappy, I had an Android back then and the site was so SLOPPY, I SHOULD BE EMBARRASSED. 

**Jennieeats:** And he won’t know that it was you silly :) that’s impossible

**Lalalalisa_m:** Bangkok. Do you miss Thailand? I visited a few years ago and I really want to go back and spend more time at the temples. Oh, you’re so lucky! That means you’re graduating soon, right? And yes... I didn’t think it was sloppy. It was so interesting and the way you described your favorite meals...that’s what makes it so enjoyable.

**Lalalalisa_m:** He WILL know, i can feel it in my bones

Lisa sets her phone down and rolls off the bed, shuffling over to her window so she can close her blinds now that the sun is going down. It’s silly because she’s barely a few feet away from her mattress, when she grabs her phone, checking to see if Jennie responded yet and when she doesn't, she sighs and strolls into the kitchen to make something quick to eat. 

“Maybe...a grilled chicken salad,” she whispers. 

She still has a leftover bag of lettuce that Jisoo brought over when she made her dinner and she should probably use that chicken in the freezer, considering it’s going to expire in two weeks. It only takes fifteen minutes to get the ingredients prepared, so when Lisa is chopping up pieces of chicken and setting it in the pan to cook, her phone buzzing with a notification almost makes her drop the tongs. 

She snatches her phone off the counter, knocking over a bottle of vinaigrette dressing and murmuring a soft _‘fuck’_ underneath her breath before she picks it up and opens Twitter.

**Jennieeats:** do you remember the ploen ruedee night market?? I miss that and eating chicken skewers. Oh and the beaches! Yeah, I want to visit the temples too. 

**Jennieeats:** Yeah, i graduate in the spring...then it’s off to the real world ughh 

**Jennieeats:** Ahh that’s so sweet :( honestly, thank you. I just described it the way I liked to eat it. Mickey won’t know haha you’re actually pretty funny

Lisa smiles so long at her phone that she doesn’t hear the chicken sizzling in the pan until it pops and she yelps, dropping the tongs. 

“Oh, fuck!"

She picks them back up and flips the chicken over, grimacing at the charred skin of the meat before turning the stove off and transferring the chicken to her bowl. When she goes to the couch, she snaps a quick picture of it and types out a reply.

**Lalalalisa_m:** yes! With the umbrella food court, right? I loved sitting on the containers at night and looking at the sky. My dad hated it though because there were always so many tourists lol. 

**Lalalalisa_m:** I’m sure you’ll find a good job, you’re ridiculously talented

**Lalalalisa_m:** Glad you think i’m funny (i’m really not)

Lisa alternates between eating and watching the three dots move as Jennie types back. She really didn’t want to seem too eager but Jennie is responding back just as quickly, so she probably isn't that busy and that thought makes her feel a little less anxious.

**Jennieeats:** oh it was so noisy so i don’t blame him hahaha. Yes! I love the food court too, they don’t have anything like that here. 

**Jennieeats:** You don’t even know me, you’re just saying that because you follow my blog and you are really funny :)

Jennie talked with a lot of emojis and Lisa didn’t know if that was a good thing or not because every time she would read over her message, it made that light fluttering feeling in her chest increase tenfold. 

Even if she was just being nice, Lisa couldn’t help it that the sentiment went straight to her heart. Yes, she may have only known her through her blog, but judging from that content alone was enough for Lisa to decide that whatever Jennie did she would be good at it.

**Lalalalisa_m:** we went there like three years ago...so i can only imagine how much it’s changed now. Probably even more foreigners. Hmm….i don’t know like if you know...but there’s this food court in Elmhurst called HK Food Court. They have all kinds of Asian restaurants and there’s this Thai stand that sells really good mango sticky fried rice and papaya salad. I don’t know...you don’t have to go or whatever, but it reminds me of Thailand. Sorry, if this is weird.

**Lalalalisa_m:** Glad i can entertain you with my mediocre humor and so?? Your blog is its own resume. 

When Lisa finishes her dinner, she takes her dishes to the sink and quickly washes them out before setting it out on the rack to dry. She puts away all of the trash and cleans off the counters before putting the leftover chicken in a container and sticking it in the fridge. 

By the time she comes back into the living room, Jennie’s responded to her and she still can’t believe that this girl is still texting her.

**Jennieeats:** it’s still the same! I went there a year ago over the summer. There are even more stalls if you can believe that. The live bands still go there, it’s actually a really major spot for music groups. Oh, i’ve actually never heard of that! Thank you for telling me that, i will definitely try to check it out :) 

**Jennieeats:** You’re so sweet <3

Lisa doesn’t want to admit that she blushes when she reads over the message, but she does.

They end up talking for hours after that, well past midnight, when Lisa is freshly showered and sitting at her computer desk as she towel dries her wet hair. 

They talk about almost anything; their interests, what shows they like to watch, whether tom yum soup tastes better with or without shrimp (wherein Lisa states that since she’s Thai, it has to have shrimp and therefore, Jennie’s opinion is invalid). They talk about university, their favorite Marvel movies, and their friends up until it’s nearing two in the morning. 

Lisa can feel her eyes burning, rubbing them tiredly as she stares at the screen and clicks on the notification at the top of her phone when Jennie messages her back.

**Jennieeats:** i actually hope they make an ant-man 3. Ant-man and the wasp deserve rights. ALSO, I still stand by the idea that it should have been hawkeye...and the scarlet witch...i feel like she could have ended thanos in IW and avoided all this mess.

**Jennieeats:** But i’m getting sleepy~ are you not tired?

Lisa wants to laugh but she doesn’t. It’s a weird thing to explain- being tired, because she doesn’t know how to describe how even though her body feels physically exhausted, her mind is constantly racing. She can’t close her eyes long enough to go to sleep and when she does manage to doze off, she somehow finds herself waking up not even two hours later even more exhausted than she was before. 

So yes, she _is_ tired, wishes that she could express the same sentiment as Jennie, but she can’t.

**Lalalalisa_m:** you should go to sleep then. You have class in the morning, right? GO TO SLEEP or else you’ll be really tired :( 

**Jennieeats:** yes, at ten :( 

**Jennieeats:** Kill me ughhh

**Jennieeats:** I’m getting in bed now are you in bed too?

Lisa ignores the way her heartbeat picks up at that one simple sentence and rolls over, pushing her cheek into the pillow as she types back a reply.

**Lalalalisa_m:** yes

**Lalalalisa_m:** Make sure your lights are off...or do you sleep with a light on?

**Jennieeats:** don’t laugh!

**Lalalalisa_m:** why would i laugh??

**Jennieeats:** …..

**Jennieeats:** Because…

**Jennieeats:**….it’s a...buzz lightyear...night light

Lisa sets her phone down, turning her face into her pillow, and promptly screams. 

She’s so cute!

She kicks her legs against the mattress, tangling the sheet between her feet, before her phone buzzes again and she quickly reaches for it.

**Jennieeats:** you’re laughing!

**Lalalalisa_m:** I’M NOT!

**Lalalalisa_m:** Go to bed!!!

**Jennieeats:** not until you stop laughing!

**Lalalalisa_m:** i’m not laughing! I swear! Why would i lie??

**Jennieeats:** …...i don’t know…

**Jennieeats:** So you’re not??

**Lalalalisa_m:** no, i’m not...it’s just- it’s cte

**Lalalalisa_m:** *cute

**Lalalalisa_m:** It’s cute

**Lalalalisa_m:**...the nightlight...i don’t mean you

Lisa almost bites off her tongue when she reads the message and she whines as she quickly types back something.

**Lalalalisa_m:** I MEAN! I DON’T MEAN YOU’RE UGLY

**Lalalalisa_m:** I HAVE NEVER EVEN SEN YOU

**Lalalalisa_m:** *SEEN

**Lalalalisa_m:** The NIGHTLIGHT is cute, not saying that you’re not, I MEAN i bet you are..sorry , omg,,,sorry. You don’t have to talk to me anymore if you don’t want to…I just...sorry...you and the nightlight are probably...you know what i’m saying

The three little dots don’t appear and Lisa groans, laying her phone face down as her room is suddenly bathed in darkness. 

She’s such a fucking idiot. Why did she even say that? Everything was going so good and she just had to ruin it! Now things were gonna be weird. Jennie would probably stop messaging her and should she stop following her blog? Would that be awkward?

Lisa chewed on her bottom lip as she thought about it, wringing her fingers together as she sighed loudly and turned over on her back. She stared up at the ceiling, trying to follow it with her eyes and frowned when she saw her phone light up against the pillow. 

Hesitantly, she reached for the device and unlocked it, pulling up the message again to stare at Jennie’s name.

_Just read it,_ she thought to herself. 

**Jennieeats:** sorry, i was laughing so hard at your messages. Omgg hahaha are you okay? I could feel you freaking out over the phone

**Jennieeats:** I hope you didn’t like spontaneuously combust or something

**Jennieeats:** But i get it..see what i mean about you being funny?

**Jennieeats:** But i’m gonna go to bed now. Goodnight ;) don’t forget to sleep and i’ll talk to you later!

Lisa takes a sharp breath through her nose, screenshots the message, sends it to Jisoo with a message telling her that _‘JENNIE SAID GOODNIGHT TO ME!’_ and then shoves her phone underneath her pillow. 

Lisa falls asleep at around three and doesn’t wake up until eight and she swears it’s the longest she’s slept an entire night.

* * *

Jennie doesn’t message her back for a few days but Lisa doesn’t mind. She reasons that the other girl is probably busy with school or a job if she has one, and it’s not like she isn’t either. 

She spends more time in the studio getting her model off the ground and becomes so acquainted with the 3-D printer in the backroom that people ask her for help when they don’t know how to use it. 

Jisoo gets a job at Office Max over the weekend and keeps sending Lisa pictures of herself in the break room of sales that they have going on. She gets free supplies at the end of the day, so it’s not all that bad. 

It isn’t until nearly five days later when Lisa checks Jennie’s blog and sees a new post.

**10/1/2019**

**2:33 PM**

**Rosalias’s Cafe**

**POSTED BY JENNIEEATS**

With fall upon us, there’s no better place to visit than the cafe located at the corner of Nostrand and Bergen. Rosalias’s Cafe is the perfect place to sit down and do some work, chat with a friend over lunch, or wolf down one of their many delicious omelets. 

The large cafe boasts two walls of windows, allowing the natural sunlight to drip over you as you sit down and enjoy your meal. I visited this cafe a few days ago to work on an essay and it felt so natural to sit and listen to the workers cook and laugh with each other as customers filtered in and out. The staff was incredibly friendly and the manager told me that since the cafe is relatively new, he’s always open to suggestions for the menu. 

If you go there, make sure to leave a recommendation on the slip of paper at the table and then hand it in when you pay for your meal. I recommended chocolate milkshakes LOL

There are outlets along the walls and there’s enough space at the counter and near the communal chairs for you to get some work done or light reading. I ate a cheese omelet and a large iced coffee for breakfast and it was sooo good! I’m still thinking about it right now hahaha

But I’ll leave you with some pictures for now and if you visit, do tell me what you thought of the place and what you would recommend. Bye!

700 page views, 99 comments

Lisa is in the middle of swiping through some of the photos that Jennie took, when she sees a Twitter notification on the top of her screen and she goes back to the home screen, hurriedly opening the app to see a blue **‘1’** next to her inbox.

**Jennieeats:** Hi, it’s me! I’m sorry for taking so long to respond. I was really busy with classes.

**Jennieeats:** How are you doing?

Lisa licks her lips and contemplates waiting at least twenty minutes to respond. She doesn’t want to make it seem like she was constantly checking her inbox for messages (even if she was) but the longer she stares at the message, the more she feels like shit for taking so long. 

“Fuck it,” Lisa mutters and swipes her metro card through the meter before pushing past the subway station turnstile.

**Lalalalisa_m:** You don’t need to apologize. It’s cool! I was busy with classes too, i’m swamped right now. 

**Lalalalisa_m:** I’m doing good, I’m heading to Queens to meet up with a friend right now, actually. What about you?

Lisa makes her way down to the platform and looks for the D train, walking through a crowd of other people waiting for the train before she makes it to the end of the line, where a guy is playing his guitar on the floor and an MTA worker is posting flyers on the bulletin board.

She can hear the train coming right as her phone buzzes in her hand and she looks down as the train comes barreling into the station, the tiles rattling underneath her feet as a gust of wind sweeps past her.

**Jennieeats:** still, i want to. I didn’t want you to think that I was ignoring you or didn’t want to talk to you :(( 

**Jennieeats:** I’m at the laundromat, there’s only like three people here so it’s really quiet. 

Thankfully, the train isn’t packed and Lisa shuffles forward to grab a seat next to the door and pulls her headphones out of her coat pocket to put them on. An elderly woman is reading a book across from her and when she glances up, Lisa smiles slightly, and the woman chuckles before looking back down.

**Lalalalisa_m:** oh

**Lalalalisa_m:** That’s...that’s really sweet

**Lalalalisa_m:** But you don’t have to talk to me if you’re like busy or anything. I won’t be mad either if you ignore me, though. 

**Jennieeats:** why would I do that? I like talking to you

Lisa pulls her turtleneck over her mouth and tries to fight down the blush that she can feel spreading across her cheeks. 

This can’t be fucking real. It just can’t. Not the girl who’s she had a major crush on for months. Not the girl who’s blog she religiously followed, trying every restaurant she recommended in hopes of getting to know the things that Jennie liked. 

Five stops later, the woman comes on over the intercom announcing the next station and Lisa stands up, gripping the strap of her bookbag as she grabs onto the overhead rail. When the doors open, Lisa walks out onto the platform and takes the stairs to the street, following the familiar route to Jisoo’s place. She pulls out her phone as she nears the complex and as she turns down the block, she types out a response.

**Lalalalisa_m:** i like talking to you too

**Jennieeats:** <3 

She’s buzzed in at the entrance of the building and she waves at the older man working at the front desk, already familiar with him after years of coming to this building. Even as she takes the elevator up to the seventh floor and knocks twice on Jisoo’s door, she doesn’t even realize that she’s smiling so hard until Jisoo lets her in and frowns at her. 

“Why the hell are you cheesing so hard?”

* * *

They talk for weeks. Sometimes over mundane things like the weather, reports that they hear about on the news, or bicker over Marvel and who Valkyrie should choose as her queen of Asgard. 

Things like that. 

It’s so damn _easy,_ though. 

Lisa isn’t really used to this- to talking to people so naturally. Granted, they’re not talking face to face but the effect, nonetheless, is still the same. Whenever Lisa feels like she’s created a lull in the conversation, Jennie always surprises her by saying something totally random or sending her a meme that will have her laughing for a good five minutes straight. 

They discuss their favorite music and share Spotify playlists. They talk about films and recommend each other Netflix shows to watch when they have the time. 

Sometimes, Lisa will be so engrossed in her phone that she’ll completely ignore a conversation happening right in front of her. After doing so one too many times with Jisoo, the older girl threatened to throw her phone on the subway tracks and considering it’s Jisoo, Lisa didn’t want to take that kind of chance.

The embarrassment that she felt when she initially began messaging Jennie, fades at the other girl’s responses. She tries not to let it get to her, that Jennie’s just being nice, maybe entertaining a subscriber, but it feels different. 

She doesn’t know how to explain it just yet but it almost feels like they’re friends; that they know enough about the other and talk to each other on a constant basis to consider each other friends.

* * *

It’s a Saturday night, nearly one o’clock in the morning, as Lisa scrolls through Netflix and when Jennie sends her a message.

**Jennieeats:** um...i don’t know if this is weird, but would it be okay if we exchanged phone numbers?

**Jennieeats:** Like..it would be easier..you know

**Jennieeats:** We could text and call...if you want! Or idk

**Jennieeats:** Tell me if this is weird

**Jennieeats:** I just thought you knwo

**Jennieeats:** *know

Lisa rubs her eyes to make sure she’s not hallucinating again and after staring at the screen for three minutes, she blinks and sits up on the couch, the blanket falling to her waist.

**Lalalalisa_m:** oh um yeah, no, that’s fine.

That’s fine, right? I mean...yeah, she would like to hear Jennie’s voice, to put a sound to the girl that she’s been following for years. Not to mention, it would be easier...they could even FaceTime if they wanted…

Lisa swallows and rubs her palms against her sweatpants before picking her phone back up.

**Lalalalisa_m:** here’s my number

After texting it to her, Jennie responds immediately with a smiling emoji and Lisa laughs as she sends her number and asks if she can call her right now.

**Lalalalisa_m:** yeah..um, yeah i don’t mind

Suddenly, feeling anxious, Lisa stands up, the blanket falling to the floor as she starts pacing in front of the TV. 

“What the fuck am I doing?” she frowns. “It’s not like she’s coming over here!”

Lisa pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs loudly, her hands slightly starting to shake as her phone starts buzzing on the couch. She stares at it. It feels like eons but she knows that it's only been seconds. 

But she doesn’t want to make Jennie feel like she doesn’t want to answer the phone. Because she does want to, _God,_ does she want to talk to Jennie.

It’s just that she’s nervous. 

Communicating over Twitter is one thing, but talking on the phone, without the barrier of a keyboard and three texting bubbles, that’s completely different. 

Lisa wrings her hands together and stalks over to the couch, grabbing her phone to accept the call and holding it up to her ear. 

“Hello?” she says, her voice unsure as her heart beats loudly in her ears. 

“Hey.”

Her voice is so warm and soft, almost like she’s cupping her hands around her ear to whisper something to Lisa. 

“Jennie?” she licks her lips. “This is Jennie, right?”

She laughs but it doesn’t sound like she’s making fun of her for asking something so dumb. No, it sounds like she’s amused, like it seems impossible that it could be anyone else. 

“Yeah, I mean yes. It’s me, Jennie.”

Lisa’s stomach twists itself into knots as she sinks back down on the couch and clutches her phone in her hand. It’s silent over the line, just the sound of Jennie’s breathing traveling through the speaker. 

She’s probably waiting, Lisa muses. Waiting to see if I chicken out or something. In essence, yes, she wants to but she won’t do that. If she’s this nervous, she can’t imagine how Jennie must feel. 

“You’re still up?” she says suddenly. 

The moment it comes out of her mouth, Lisa squeezes her eyes shut and swears underneath her breath. 

Of course, she’s still up! She’s talking to you!

Fucking hell. 

“Yeah,” Jennie murmurs and there’s some rustling over the line before she speaks. “I’m still up. I was working on a discussion post. It was supposed to be turned in before midnight but I forgot about it,” she laughs. 

Lisa snorts, tucking her feet underneath herself as she imagines Jennie hunched over her laptop in bed, diligently typing out a response for class even though it’s past the deadline. 

“Will you still get credit for it?”

“Probably not,” she says and then yawns. “Well, I might get half credit but that’s alright. I have an A in the class anyway so I’m not that worried.”

“Still-” Lisa frowns. “Do your work on time.”

“I’ll do my work when I feel like it.”

“Brat,” Lisa rolls her eyes. 

“Hey! I’m older than you, show some respect,” Jennie laughs. 

“No,” Lisa shakes her head. “No, I don’t think I will actually.”

Jennie scoffs and Lisa smiles to herself. It doesn’t feel any less different than messaging each other- which is a good thing- her hand is still shaking, but it’s not as prevalent as it was before Jennie called her. 

“So what are you doing?”

“Nothing,” she says and then clears her throat, leaning down to pick the blanket up. “Nothing, just watching Netflix.”

_And talking to you,_ but she doesn’t say that. 

“Whatcha watching?”

“Mindhunter. Um...it’s like a show about these federal agents that interview serial killers. They kind of started the whole ‘criminal profiling’ thing. It’s really good.”

“Mm,” she hums. “What episode are you on?”

“The last one,” she says, messing with the hem of her sweatshirt as she briefly looks up at the screen. 

“Do you want me to tell you about it?”

“Sure! I’m trying to finish up this last paragraph but I would really like to hear it from you.”

Lisa swallows the lump in her throat and wipes her brow quickly. This girl...how could she just say things like that? As if it didn’t make her stomach swoop enough times already. 

“Oh...well, Holden, one of the FBI agents, shit kind of hit the fan for him because he’s been suppressing evidence in an interview that he conducted. So now, his reputation as an agent is on the line because it could jeopardize the FBI and the work that his team is doing. Then his girlfriend like breaks up with him but that was kind of expected after she like sort of kinda cheated on him,” she grimaces. 

“It was weird.”

“Why was it weird?”

“Well, she was always getting a ride from her friend Patrick and he thought it was weird and then like she invited Holden to her school to participate in an event and he saw his girlfriend and Patrick like sitting close..it looked intimate but it wasn’t. It’s hard to explain and they like, never spoke about it. They were kind of on a ‘break’ but then they got back together and never discussed it.”

“That sounds unnecessarily complicated.”

“Trust me, it was. So anyways, the team is like a mess right now and with their information being published in the press, they feel like all their work has been jeopardized because no one was supposed to know about the work they’re doing.”

“But long story short, Holden kind of bolts and has like a panic attack at the end.”

“Holy shit,” she breathes.

“I know,” Lisa says and she flushes when she realizes how long she was talking about the show. 

“Sorry, for spoiling it for you by the way. I don’t know if you wanted to like watch it or something…”

“I don’t know,” she laughs. “I’m kind of a wuss when it comes to scary stuff. I probably wouldn’t be able to sit through the first episode.”

“The show doesn’t really rely on blood and gore, though,” Lisa murmurs. “It’s more of the agents conducting interviews and the serial killers describing the details to them.”

“I don’t even think I saw any blood throughout the ten episodes.”

“Trust me, it’s really not like some gory horror film.”

Jennie whines into the receiver and Lisa laughs, already picturing her lips pushed out in a pout.

“I still can’t watch shows like that by myself,”

“Leave your light on, then.”

“It’s not the same thing,” Jennie says and she can hear the frown in her voice. “I- someone needs to be there- I have to watch it with another person.” 

“Oh,” Lisa licks her lips. “Like…like with...who?”

“You,” Jennie whispers. “I want to watch it with you.”

Lisa pulls the phone away from her ear, muting the call, and reaches behind herself for one of the couch pillows. 

She pushes her face into the material and promptly screams into it.

When she feels like she’s got it all out, she puts the pillow back and picks her phone up, turning it back on. 

“Lisa?”

“Yeah,” she coughs. “Sorry, I thought someone was knocking at my door,” she lies and bites down on her tongue at how stupid that sounds. 

“...At...almost one-thirty...in the morning?”

_Fuck._

_Fuck, fuck, fuck._

_She doesn’t believe her! _

_Fuck!_

“It was no one!” she says quickly. “That’s why...I thought I heard something, you know? But no, it was no one. False alarm,” she chuckles nervously. 

The line goes quiet for a second and Lisa is already thinking of how quickly she screwed everything up in less than an hour. All she wanted to do was talk to the girl but then she had to go and make it weird and lie and now Jennie was probably going to stop talking to her and-

The sound of her laughter over the phone startles Lisa. 

She actually pulls her cell away so she can make sure the call is still connected, and when she realizes that it is, she turns red. 

“You realize-” Jennie giggles. “That you- that you’re really weird, right?” she laughs. 

Lisa cringes and is just about to respond when Jennie adds, “you’re also a really bad liar too.”

_Fuck. _

“Sorry!” she says quickly. “I just- I didn’t mean- it’s not that- !”

She’s losing control of the situation and she’s too tired for this but she has to explain herself because it’s not like that at all. 

“I just- listen, I didn’t-”

“Lisa, Lisa, Lisa,” she says, trying to calm her down. “Hey, it’s okay,” she laughs and Lisa frowns down at her lap before sighing. 

“I know it was weird for me to say it like that and I’m sor-”

“No!” Lisa says loudly. “I mean,” she clears her throat. “No, I uh- it’s really not that. I just...I got nervous because...you were like...you were- you were flirting with me, right?” 

If her voice cracks at the end, Jennie doesn’t take notice of it and Lisa rubs her eyes, her head tired from trying to keep up with their conversation. 

“Was I flirting with you?” Jennie asks her. 

“I..I don’t- I don’t know,” she shakes her head. “But I would like to-” she swallows, “I would like to watch Mindhunter with you. So you...so you won’t be scared.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” she murmurs. “Yes, I would.”

There’s more rustling over the line and Lisa takes a deep breath as she spreads out on the couch and lays back against the armrest. 

“Okay,” she hears Jennie say and it sounds like she’s smiling. 

“Okay?”

“I would like that too.”

This time Lisa doesn’t mute the call, instead, she just bites down onto her fist and squeals.

They talked for nearly three hours, delving into things like their favorite anime shows, if pineapple pizza deserves rights, and which High School Musical movie is the best. Jennie laughs the loudest when Lisa explains how she walked in on her best friend having sex with her TA one time last year and now it’s weird because they’re dating and she can’t get their moans out of her head. 

“It was a very traumatic experience for me!”

As it nears four o’clock, Lisa is sitting on the floor in her room, her back against the mattress as she listens to Jennie play her a song from Coldplay. 

She’s bleary-eyed, her toes curling in her socks as she lays her head back and listens to the lyrics. Outside her window, the sky is still dark but she can see the beginnings of clouds start to move in and the layer of smog that covers the city. 

“Go to sleep,” she hears Jennie whisper. 

She sounds tired herself, almost like she’s half-awake and Lisa closes her eyes, the song and the sound of Jennie’s breathing lulling her into a deep sleep.

* * *

**10/28/2019**

**4:15 PM**

**Hahm Ji Bach**

**POSTED BY JENNIEEATS**

You guys know how much I love Korean food, right? Well, if not, don’t fret. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE KOREAN FOOD! Obviously, there’s a lot of different restaurants to go to in New York if you want some good Korean food. But do you know where you go if you want the best? 

Well, it’s Hahm Ji Bach, of course! 

This is my go-to Korean restaurant and the best part about it, is that they’re open 24 hours and the food is good all the time hahaha

Although it’s fairly packed on the weekends, if you go during the weekday, you should have no problem being seated right away. Be warned, you will be absolutely bombarded with side dishes but they’re so good that it’s worth it. The staff is very friendly and you get free refills and who doesn’t like that??

I came with a group of classmates from my university and we tried just about everything- eating marinated galbi, steamed egg, pork belly, gamjatang, and budae jjigae, the menu is so thorough and very delicious!

If you visit, make sure to leave a picture for me to see and tell me what your favorite dishes were. Have a good day!

555 views, 400 comments

Lisa balances the bottle of sleeping pills on her knee cap as she sits on Jisoo’s living room rug. The older girl is in the middle of cooking something, chicken alfredo, she thinks because it’s the only thing she knows how to make. 

Her girlfriend is coming over and Lisa doesn’t usually like to be around when they’re together because they act really gross and it doesn’t take long until Jisoo is giving her _‘get out of my apartment so we can fuck’_ eyes. That usually has Lisa leaving pretty quickly but tonight Jisoo promised that they would behave themselves and well- she _is_ hungry and her fridge _is_ empty- so it’s a win-win situation. 

Rihanna plays from the speaker set up in the kitchen and Lisa snatches the bottle off of her knee and shoves it into her coat pocket before standing up and going to Jisoo. 

“Almost done?” she asks. 

The noodles are in a strainer on the counter and Jisoo uncaps a bottle of parmesan, pouring some over the alfredo sauce and mixing it in slowly. 

“Yep,” she nods. “Can you just hand me the noodles over there?”

Lisa grabs the pot and nudges Jisoo out of the way so she can dump it into the sauce. 

“Can you get the wine out of the fridge?” 

“Yes, ma’am,” Lisa snorts and Jisoo smacks her shoulder, sticking her tongue out as she puts the strainer in the sink and grabs the bottle out of the fridge. 

The table’s already set so Lisa places the bottle next to the vase of flowers that Jisoo had brought after class. Just as she’s about to wash her hands, the doorbell rings and Jisoo jumps, the mixing spoon clattering on top of the stove as she rushes out of the kitchen to answer it. 

Lisa rolls her eyes and moves over to the pasta, dipping her finger into the sauce and bringing it to her mouth so she can taste it. 

She hums around her finger, moving to take the pan off the stove and sets it in the middle of the table on top of the mat. 

“Hey, Lisa.”

It’s not that she doesn’t like Seulgi, the girl’s incredibly funny and always laughs at Jisoo’s jokes, which is telling, but she was their TA last year.

It’s _weird._

It also doesn’t help that she still dresses like a TA outside of the classroom, wearing a long-sleeved black turtleneck that's tucked into brown paper bag pants. Her heels click against the floor as she moves across the room and her smile is so infectious that Lisa can’t help but grin back.

When Lisa had walked in on them having sex, it had traumatized her for about a month, but when Jisoo told her that they were actually dating, it took some time for her to digest. All she could think about was watching Seulgi teach Korean Government their sophomore year and damn near failing the class because the exams were hard as shit. She couldn’t help but remember every assignment that she graded, all the comments she made on the side of her papers that would have made her grade better, and the office hours she spent trying to salvage her grade.

Yeah, she’s a TA and twenty-five years old, only four years older than them, but it feels like she’s meeting her professor, outside of school, and that is what makes her awkwardly shake the older woman’s hand. 

It’ll be nearly two years that they’ve been together and Lisa still can’t stomach it. Maybe when she graduates college it will fade because they won’t be students anymore and she won’t have to stress over avoiding a class that Seulgi teaches. 

She just can’t sit in a classroom and listen to her and pretend that she’s not fucking her best friend. 

God, she _really_ doesn’t want to think about that right now. 

“Hey,” she smiles and gestures to the table. “Hope you’re hungry, Jisoo’s been watching YouTube videos all day to try to cook this.”

Jisoo glares at her, punching her arm as Lisa yelps and grabs her arm, rubbing the area. 

Seulgi looks like she wants to laugh but doesn’t want to upset her girlfriend, so she just presses her lips together and pulls out a chair for Jisoo to sit. 

“I hate you!" Jisoo hisses out when Seulgi steps away to wash her hands.

_“I hate you”_ Lisa mocks. “Come on, it’s true, though!”

Jisoo sticks her middle finger up at her and Lisa laughs and she doesn't stop until Seulgi comes back and sits down beside Jisoo, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek. 

“It looks really good, Soo.”

Lisa snorts, ignoring her best friend and spoons a serving of pasta onto each of their plates. Seulgi helps with the salad and then uncorks the bottle of wine to pour some for everyone. 

“Try it first before you say that, dummy,” Jisoo rolls her eyes. 

Seulgi makes a face at her but twirls her pasta around her fork and blows on it carefully before putting it in her mouth and chewing. Her eyes light up almost instantly, the corner of her lips tugging up into a smile as she gives her girlfriend a thumbs up. 

“It’s yummy!”

Jisoo may try to hide it but Lisa catches the way her neck lights up like a flame and the small smile that she has on her face when she looks down at her own plate. 

Maybe this is why it’s bearable for Lisa, too. Deep down, she knows that Seulgi makes her really happy, incredibly happy even. When they were freshmen, Jisoo wasn’t necessarily comfortable with calling herself a lesbian or even acknowledging that she liked women. This was more so due to the fact that her parents were staunchly against two women being in a relationship and protested the idea that homosexuality was even a legitimate thing. That harmful mindset had found itself ingrained into Jisoo’s head, so it only made sense that she would suppress her own identity in order to mold herself to her parent’s expectations. 

It made her miserable, though. Lisa can recall the numerous times she woke up to Jisoo crying in the middle of the night when they were roommates. She can recall that day she whispered to her just as the sun was peeking through their blinds, that she had thought of killing herself once. She remembers when Jisoo joined the LGBT Alliance at their university and the following Christmas when she went home and told Lisa that she had come out to her parents.

She remembers the pain and the anger of Jisoo’s family turning their back on her and the long nights she would sit up on her bed and stare at the wall. When Jisoo would sometimes miss class and Lisa would find her in the dormitory shower crying under the spray of water. She hated what their rejection had done to her but slowly, very slowly, she saw Jisoo finally see herself for who she truly was. Lisa knew that the pain was still there, it would always be there, but she could also see her come into herself when she was able to talk about a girl that she saw in the hallway or engage in meetings at the alliance. 

She seemed happier as time went on and it only grew when she met Seulgi. When Jisoo told her that they were dating, Lisa didn’t believe her at first. At the time, she had thought it was just a joke but after seeing them together and listening to the way Jisoo talked and acted around her, she knew it wasn’t anything close to a joke.

What they had, it was _real. _

Lisa knew it and Seulgi knew it and Jisoo knew it. 

So yeah, it was still a little weird to her, but Seulgi made Jisoo smile and she always complimented her appearance and she always listened to her- like with her full attention and that kind of stuff _mattered. _

Lisa snaps out of her thoughts as Jisoo laughs at something Seulgi tells her, watching as the older woman beams and pinches her cheek. 

“Can you two like not, for once _pleaseee?_” Lisa frowned. 

“Can you go home?” Jisoo looked pointedly at her. 

“You said you would be on your best behavior today!” Lisa pointed a finger at her. “I can’t digest my food if you two are all over it!”

Seulgi, at least, had the decency to blush but Jisoo just huffs and rolls her eyes as she starts eating. 

Lisa smiles and takes her phone out, quickly snapping a picture of her food and sending it to Jennie when Seulgi leans forward. 

“Oh, are you one of those food Instagrammers?”

“God, no,” Lisa snorts. “This is just-”

“It’s for her girlfriend, Jennie. She met her online.”

Lisa yelps and before she can catch herself, she drops her phone right in her chicken alfredo.

* * *

“Why don’t you like taking them?” Jennie asks her. 

Lisa balances the phone between her ear and shoulder blade as she laced up her sneakers. It’s the middle of November and her mom wants to see her, complaining to her over a text message the other day that she rarely came to see them. 

Lisa had argued that she was swamped with course work and was feeling drained- which she _was_\- but she also just didn’t feel like being around her family.

Well, she liked being around her mom. Her mom was great actually, it was just her dad and with Thanksgiving a few days away, she knew it would be inevitable soon enough. Her dad still had difficulty with accepting the fact that she was gay and he made it known frequently by always telling her that, _‘one of his friends had a son that she should meet’_ and that _‘she should date a man just for a little bit to see if she liked it.’ _

That was one of the reasons why she hated going home. She couldn’t tell if her father was being funny or if he genuinely believed the things that were coming out of his mouth. That’s what made her more upset than anything, really. 

It felt like he was ignoring her and ignoring how she felt. 

But she couldn’t just _not_ go home and she couldn’t just _not_ ignore her family. She couldn’t do that to her mom no matter how badly she wanted to. 

Hence, why she had gone to the clinic and got a refill of sleeping medication because she fully intended to use it once she went back home. 

“I just don’t like the side effects,” she tells her. “My appetite tends to fluctuate and I feel dizzy when I wake up. Sometimes, I have like these really weird dreams or my mouth gets really dry. It fucking sucks.”

She wheels her luggage out of the apartment and locks it behind her, putting her backpack over her shoulder and listens as Jennie hums underneath her breath. 

“That _does_ sound like it sucks,” she says. “You can’t do something else besides the pills?”

“I haven’t gone to therapy, yet,” she shrugs. “But I don’t know if that’ll really work. The pills are more convenient, even if the side effects are a pain.”

Lisa catches a cab about a block away from her apartment and listens as Jennie lists off alternative treatments for insomnia. It’s not anything that she hasn’t heard before but it makes her smile as Jennie stops every few seconds to ask her if she’s listening and when she hums, Jennie continues talking. 

It’s sweet. 

When she makes it to Penn Station, it’s a little bit after one o’clock and she talks to Jennie as she checks her luggage in and boards the train, finding her seat and putting her bag in the compartment above her. 

“How long are you going to be in Boston?”

“Mm, just for five days. Are you going home too?”

“Yeah, I’m leaving tomorrow to California.”

Lisa watches as a few more passengers board and puts their luggage up too, before one of the attendants, walks down the passageway to enter the train behind them. 

“Can I ask you something?” she says suddenly. 

“Yeah, what is it?”

She bites down on her lip and messes with her airpod case, turning it over in her lap as the person in the seat in front of her, takes his seat. 

“Do you...do you like- want to hang out? Like maybe after the holidays or something?”

The line goes silent and Lisa almost thinks that Jennie has hung up on her but before she can take it back and play it off as a joke, Jennie responds. 

“Yeah, definitely,” she says and Lisa can hear the smile in her voice. “I would really like that, to actually, um meet you in person.”

“Okay,” she sighs and it feels like a weight being lifted off of her chest. 

“Okay,” Jennie murmurs and she wishes that the other girl was sitting next to her on the train. 

She wishes that she could see her now; that she wasn’t so scared earlier and put off asking Jennie sooner. She imagines that Jennie would have had a bag full of snacks from the shops inside the train station or that she would have bought a chocolate milkshake and they would have shared it between each other. 

More than anything, Lisa wishes that she could finally talk to her without the barrier of a screen, a dropped call, or an incoming text message. 

“I have to go,” Jennie says quietly. “But I’ll text you!” she adds quickly. “Okay?”

“Yeah, of course. It’s gonna be about four hours anyway so I’ll respond,” she chuckles. 

The train is full now and Lisa glances up as she sees two attendants begin helping passengers secure their bags and answer any concerns. 

“Try to take a nap,” Jennie suggests. 

“I will,” she says but she doubts that it’s possible. 

“Bye, Lisa. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Bye, Jennie.”

When there’s an hour left of the train ride, Lisa opens up Safari and scrolls through Jennie’s blog before pulling up her last post and leaving a comment.

**11/17/2019**

**1:00 PM**

**Shanghai You Garden**

**POSTED BY JENNIEEATS**

Comments (201):

201: **lalalalisa_m wrote:** @jennieeats where could I take someone special out to eat if I’m meeting them for the first time?

**Jennieeats replied:** @lalalalisa_m, I have a list of restaurants that are perfect for first meetings under “great first eats”, I’ve been to each of them and they’re all great! I’m sure whatever you pick will impress that special someone :) 

* * *

Lisa knew that Jennie was beautiful, she followed her Instagram and liked every single one of her photos, even commenting on the occasional selfie that Jennie took. 

It’s just not fair that it still makes Lisa blink in shock when she sees her in person for the first time. 

She’s standing outside of the restaurant that they had agreed to meet at. It’s the third day in December and Lisa is wearing a university sweatshirt over a dark maroon button-up shirt and black jeans with her favorite combat boots. She had borrowed Jisoo’s navy parka since her own was in the laundry and even with all the layers on, she feels a hot flush run up her neck and spread across her face when she spots Jennie. 

She’s bundled up too in a pink bubble coat, a white beanie and white skinny jeans that make her legs look really long. As she gets closer, Lisa curls her left hand into a fist in the pocket of her jacket and she tries to conjure up a smile but it feels more like a grimace.

She’s just so _pretty. _

It’s fucking unfair. 

“Hey,” Jennie waves her hand. “Did you wait long?”

On the way over on the subway, Lisa had practiced everything she was going to say. She crafted a makeshift script in her head. Something that would allow her to make it through the night and not make a complete fool out of herself. Jisoo had helped her over the phone, telling her things that she should say and mannerisms that she should keep to herself so Jennie didn’t think she was weird. 

It had helped ease her nerves, made it a little more bearable as she got off the train and took the stairs up to the street. 

All of that artificial confidence and rehearsed communication vanishes when Jennie greets her. It’s like when you wipe a computer’s hard drive and you’re just left with a blank slate. That’s what her mind feels like. 

“I like your platform shoes,” she says and Jennie looks shocked for a split second until she breaks out into a loud peal of laughter. 

Lisa squeezes her eyes shut and prays to God that a cab would just jump the curb and run her over right now. Just like kill her on the scene and end this night. She’s already screwed up and they haven’t even made it inside yet. 

“I’m sorry,” she sighs and opens her eyes to see Jennie smiling at her. 

Her teeth are really white and straight and Lisa knows that she’s staring, can see the way Jennie chuckles when she catches her, and that just makes her sigh again even louder. 

“I- I didn’t- I didn’t wait long,” she shook her head. “But it’s nice to finally meet you, Jennie.”

“It’s nice to meet you too,” she nods and Lisa holds out her hand like an idiot, like they’re at a stage where they need to shake each other’s hand, but Jennie completely ignores it.

Instead, she steps right into Lisa’s space and hugs her. 

About two things happen when she does that. 

1\. Lisa drops the small gift bag that she has in her hand on the ground.  
2\. She squeaks, like an unnatural high-pitched sound, that feels weird coming out of her throat.

Lisa is so shocked that she doesn’t even realize she isn’t hugging her back. She snaps out of it, thankfully, and quickly throws her arms around Jennie, feeling her breath against her neck and the rise and fall of her back as her fingers grab ahold of her jacket. 

When Jennie pulls back, Lisa wants to tell her not to leave her arms but that would probably be weird and she doesn’t want to come off too strong. They just met for the first time, after all. 

“Hi,” Jennie smiles shyly, ducking her head so she can push her hair behind her ear. “Was that weird? It was weird, right?”

“It wasn’t,” Lisa shakes her head. “It wasn’t. I- um,” she coughed. “I liked it. I liked it a lot.”

Jennie laughs, a hand coming up to cover her mouth and Lisa really can’t believe that this is the girl that she’s been talking to for four months. 

“You want to go inside?” Lisa asks, gesturing to the entrance. 

Jennie nods and Lisa bends down to pick the bag up and holds the door open for her, smiling when Jennie leads the way. 

Arturo’s is a small little pizza place tucked away on a quiet street next to a shoe store and a barbershop that’s already closed for the night. The inside of the restaurant is all dark wood with vintage photos hung up on the walls, a bookshelf pushed into one of the corners, and funny license plates that make Lisa chuckle as she glances at one. 

They’re seated at a booth where the wall is made up entirely of glass, giving them a clear view out onto the street and the headlights that wash across the table anytime a car drives by. The low hanging fluorescent bulbs give the restaurant a warm feel and Lisa marvels at the potted plants decorated along the windowsill and the vines that drip down from the ceiling.

“Wow,” Lisa breathes. 

She pulls her jacket off, still looking around the restaurant and the other customers that are laughing over pizza and drinks and the live band that’s just beginning to set up on the small stage in the corner. 

“You’ve never been here before?” Jennie asks her. 

“No,” she shakes her head. “Never.”

After their waiter hands them a menu and asks what they would like to drink, Jennie orders a coke and Lisa gets a ginger ale, the younger girl pushes the bag toward Jennie shyly. 

“I got you this. You can tell me if you don’t like it or whatever. The receipts still in the bag,” she shrugs.

“Even if I didn’t like it, I wouldn’t return it,” Jennie scoffs and she thanks Lisa before putting the bag in her lap and digging through the colorful paper. 

It’s a chew toy shaped like an ice cream cone. She bought two of them, one for Jennie’s dog Kuma, and a purple dinosaur for her other dog, Kai. 

She stares at Jennie nervously, watching as she holds the toys in her lap with a look that Lisa can’t decipher right now. She’s too busy almost tearing a hole through her pants with how hard she’s gripping her thighs.

“I don’t even-”

“Thank you so much, Lisa,” she says and she looks at her, at her eyes that are all wide and thoughtful and it makes her fucking heart ache.

She acts as if it’s the best thing anyone has ever given her, as if she doesn’t already have a million chew toys at her own place. 

“This is so cute and I know the dogs will like it,” she grins. 

Lisa nods, unable to really form a response and watches as Jennie puts it back in the bag and sets it beside her. 

Their waiter comes back with their drinks and a basket of fresh bread and Jennie orders a ricotta and sausage pizza while Lisa asks for plain cheese. 

“I got you something too,” Jennie smiles and before Lisa can object, she pulls her jacket across her lap and fumbles around in the pocket, pulling out a black rectangular box. 

Lisa takes a long sip of her drink and almost chokes when she reaches over the table and grabs the box. 

“You got me _jewelry?!_” she whines. “My gift looks so basic next to yo-”

Jennie throws her napkin right at her face and Lisa sputters, frowning at her as Jennie gestures to the box. 

“It wasn’t even expensive! And I love your gift, it’s perfect,”

“But-”

“Just open it before I walk out of here,” she says sticking her tongue out. 

Lisa groans, staring at Jennie for a long minute because she honestly wouldn’t put it past her to do that, so reluctantly, she pops open the lid and moves the cream-colored decorative sheet off the top to reveal a bracelet. 

It’s a simple sterling silver chain with a moon and a sun attached to it, dangling as she holds it up and flicks it underneath the light. 

“I made it,” Jennie says softly. 

Lisa looks past the bracelet and gapes. “You _made_ this?”

“Don’t act so shocked,” she snorts but nods anyway. “Yes, I make jewelry as a hobby. I was thinking of creating like an online shop to sell it, but I don’t know,” she shrugs. “Do you like it?”

Lisa pushes the box away and holds the bracelet out to her. “Can you put it on for me?”

Jennie nods and takes the bracelet, putting it over her wrist and clasping the ends together, her fingers smoothing down the palm of her hand until she turns it over. The charms dangle, clinking against the other and when Lisa looks up, Jennie is already staring at her. 

“I love it,” she murmurs. 

Jennie blushes and it’s a beautiful thing, really. It spreads across her cheeks and along the top of her nose and Lisa really wants to do nothing but try to get her to do it again and again. Jennie runs her thumb along the top of her hand and squeezes her fingers before pulling away. She looks down at the design on the table and even now, Lisa can see the tip of her ears turning red. 

“Okay,” she smiles softly.

Besides the phenomenal pizza, they actually talk a lot about themselves. Bringing up funny incidents that happen on campus, talking more about what they did over the holidays, and Lisa even makes a joke (that she totally doesn’t think is any bit hilarious) but manages to have Jennie laughing so hard that she tears up. 

They listen to the band play three more songs, they argue over whether to have the chocolate fountain cake or the ice cream sandwich for dessert and have to resort to rock-paper-scissors in the end. Jennie wins and they eat the entire sandwich with Lisa licking the last bit of vanilla off of her finger and laughing when Jennie smears some on her lip. 

It’s eleven thirty-five, nearly three hours after they arrived, when they ask for the check and are ambling down the street ten minutes later, with their elbows touching as they walk to the station. 

Lisa doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t really think that she can put into words exactly how great the night had gone. It’s not that she expected it to go bad, but she did expect it to be awkward. It was mostly feelings that she had held regarding herself. 

Talking in person compared to talking over the phone were two totally different things. She worried about saying the wrong things, about reacting weirdly to whatever Jennie said, or realizing that the chemistry that she had felt for her had been wrong all along. 

That made this whole thing was artificial, only available when they were hidden behind their screens. 

How naive of her to think that. 

It was better, better than she could have ever imagined. 

When they reach the entrance of the stairs at the subway station, Lisa leans forward and tugs at Jennie’s pinky finger with her own. Her skin is so soft and she curls her finger around her, hoping to say something, anything, when Jennie turns around and raises an eyebrow at her. 

“Sorry,” she mutters instead. 

She moves to let go of her but Jennie just tangles their fingers together so she can hold her hand. 

“It doesn’t have to be hard, you know,” Jennie murmurs. 

Lisa swallows down the anxiety that she can feel churning inside of her throat and sighs. 

“What?”

Jennie smiles sadly, like she can hear what Lisa is thinking in her head, as if she knows every single worry that has conjured itself up in her brain. 

“You and me,” she whispers. “You and me, us, it doesn’t have to be hard. In fact, it could be as easy as breathing.”

And when she steps closer, their joined hands pressing against the seam of Lisa’s pants, she wants to believe her, she really does. Her mind is telling her that things like this don’t make sense, that they don’t work out for people like her- for girls like her, but there Jennie is.

“What if I-” she shakes her head. “What if I don’t- if I don’t know how to breathe, yet?”

Jennie brings her other hand up to stroke her cheek and even if her fingers are freezing, Lisa leans into it and Jennie’s smile is so soft that she tugs her closer until she can push her face into her neck. She can feel her own hand shaking as she holds onto Jennie’s jacket and that should scare her away, should scare Jennie away from everything about Lisa and everything that she isn’t ready for with her. Instead, it does the opposite.

Instead, Jennie smooths her hand down her neck, like a caress, like she wants to comfort her right now. She moves so her lips brush against the skin of her ear and Lisa squeezes her eyes shut, preparing herself for the worse. 

“Then let me show you how to do it. Let me help you.”

* * *

**From: Jennie 6:34 PM**

Can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer by the way, if you don’t want to

Lisa reads the message just as she’s leaving campus. Jisoo is staying behind so she can leave with Seulgi after she finishes her last class of the day, so Lisa has to walk back alone. She uncaps her water bottle and takes a quick swig from it, before typing back a reply as she crosses the street.

**From: Lisa 6:38 PM**

Sure. What is it?

**From: Jennie 6:44 PM**

Have you been in a lot of relationships with women?

**From: Lisa 6:50 PM**

Um...well, I dated a girl the summer before I went off to college. I wouldn’t necessarily call it “dating” though, really we just fooled around. It was summer, so we were more likely just having fun. When I was a freshman, I went out with this girl in my lab class, we dated for the entire fall semester but then she went on a study abroad and we broke it off. So, I would only count two girls, really. Anything else was not at all serious. 

She licks her lips as the bus pulls up to the end of the street and the doors hiss open, allowing some to step down and exit, while Lisa digs around in her pocket for her bus pass. She follows behind an older man in a business suit with his briefcase tucked underneath his arm and after swiping her pass, she finds a seat towards the back near the window and sets her backpack on her lap.

**From: Jennie 7:00 PM**

Oh, thank you for telling me that :)

**From: Lisa 7:03 PM**

No problem. What about you?

As the bus ambles down the street, she looks out the window and watches the buildings past by her. The sun rests behind the clouds as the sky bleeds orange and pink across the top of skyscrapers. Lights twinkle from their spot hung above the windows and twisted around the entrance of restaurants. Lisa digs her headphones out of her jacket and puts them on, pulling up one of her Spotify playlists and tapping on the message that Jennie sends her.

**From: Jennie 7:11 PM**

Mm, I’ve been with three women and a guy before. I dated this guy during senior year of high school until we were freshmen, then we broke up. I think it was nice when we were in high school, but eventually, we just wanted to see other people. We’re friends now actually hahaha.

**From: Jennie 7:13 PM**

After we broke up, I hooked up with this girl, it was my first time so it was a little bit scary and a little bit exciting at the same time. I enjoyed it though, it felt comfortable. Um, when I was a sophomore, I studied abroad in Tokyo and I met this girl there at the host university and we were together the entire semester that I was there. We broke up because of the distance, it didn’t seem realistic to stay together. The last girl I dated was during the summer of my third year, she was a jerk though, only wanted sex out of it so I broke up with her. 

Lisa sees her neighborhood come into view and she stands up as the bus pulls up to the stop. When the doors open, she steps down and walks the rest of the way to her apartment building and takes the stairs up to the third floor before unlocking her unit and throwing her stuff down on the floor and collapsing on the couch. She rolls over on her back and holds her phone above her as she types something back.

**From: Lisa 7:33 PM**

You’re not scared?

**From: Jennie 7:34 PM**

Scared of what/?  
*?

The younger girl licks her lips and takes a deep breath. _Scared of everything,_ she wants to say. How is she not afraid to be with someone? How is she not afraid that they might mess this up? Whatever this is between them. 

Lisa knows that Jennie’s great. She knows how kind she is, how amazing it is to be around her, how considerate and thoughtful she can be. She knows- deep down- she knows that Jennie is damn near perfect and that _scares_ her. 

She doesn’t know how to deal with perfect. She doesn’t know how to handle someone with care who deserves it and that much more. 

She’s scared because she doesn’t want to hurt Jennie. She doesn’t want to be the one to ruin her for anyone else. She’s scared because ultimately, she feels like she won’t be enough, won’t be enough for her.

**From: Jennie 7:40 PM**

Let's just take it slow, okay? No rush and no worries. We can go however fast or slow you want to, alright?

The weight that sits on her windpipe lessens to some extent and she squeezes her eyes shut before exhaling loudly and sitting up.

**From: Lisa 7:42 PM**

Thank you, Jennie.

**From: Jennie 7:43 PM**

No problem <3

* * *

Christmas comes and goes with nearly six inches of snow and the sound of Christmas music flowing down the street. Ornaments and paper snowflakes hang in storefront windows, while there are Santas posted in front of nearly every department store. Lisa travels back to Boston and Jennie heads to California again and true to her word, they take it slow.

They text nearly every day; sharing pictures of what they’re up to, of Lisa recording her mom making a gingerbread house by herself and Jennie of her dogs running wild outside with a roll of wrapping paper. 

When Lisa can’t sleep, she sits outside on the porch and FaceTimes Jennie until the older girl falls asleep and Lisa takes a screenshot, saving it to her photo gallery. They talk while Jennie goes grocery shopping with her parents and Lisa lounges on the living room floor listening to her parents talk about the news. 

They introduce the other to their parents over Skype, Lisa awkwardly waving and patting her hair down self consciously as Jennie’s mother smiles and laughs when Lisa hiccups. 

“She’s cute, I like her,” she said warmly and Lisa is too busy pointing out the similarities between them to fall out of her seat.

Jennie’s father gives her a short, curt wave but Jennie assures her that it’s fine and he doesn’t really talk much. 

Lisa’s mother ends up talking more to Jennie than Lisa does and it should irritate her, but she ends up finding it endearing as they talk about their favorite tv shows, how pretty Jennie’s hair is, and how her mother wants to move to California because she hates the cold weather. 

After the holidays, Lisa makes it back to New York in time for Jisoo’s annual New Year's Eve party and she invites Jennie to come, who’s been back in the city since after Christmas.

It’s still freezing cold as they both bundle up in multiple layers and hold onto each other as they navigate the icy streets. There are parties going on in nearly every building; Lisa can hear people yelling and laughing, the lights flickering on in a multitude of colors in a separate unit, and the music blaring from the roof where people are dancing. 

Jennie grabs onto her elbow as Lisa leads them up the steps of the brownstone, quickly pulling the door open and being greeted by a blast of warm air from the heating system. 

They take the elevator up to Jisoo’s unit and even as they walk down the hall, Lisa can feel the pounding of the music underneath her feet and the noises of other people talking as she passes by room after room. 

“Just as a forewarning,” Lisa says quickly as she pauses from knocking on the door. “Sorry, if it gets a little crazy and our friends are a little bit weird and Jisoo acts clingy when she’s drunk. Just a warning.”

“I got it,” Jennie chuckles and squeezes the inside of her elbow. 

Lisa nods and knocks only once before the door is being swung open and Sana greets her with a bright smile. 

“You made it!” she shouts. 

Her eyes are decorated with metallic glitter and she has a hat on with the numbers 2020 written across in sparklers. Even from here, Lisa can smell the alcohol practically dripping off of her and she grimaces as Sana's eyes slide over to Jennie and she makes a motioning gesture between the two of them. 

“Are you Lisa’s girlfriend?!”

Jennie bursts out laughing and Lisa squawks, pushing Sana out of the way and leading Jennie as far away from her as possible.

The apartment is packed and Lisa isn’t really that surprised. She sees a lot of people that she doesn’t recognize, but she does say hi to most of her friends and introduces Jennie to each of them. Irene, her lab partner from last semester, strikes up a long conversation with Jennie because apparently they had English Comp together, and Lisa excuses herself to get them a drink and see if she can find Jisoo. 

There are so many people that she has to squeeze through, murmuring an apology and spilling some of her drink on her shirt, but she manages to find Jisoo, although she’s being crowded into a corner by Seulgi and she can’t tell whose mouth is whose. 

She says hi to Yugyeom and Bambam and talks to them for a little bit before migrating back to Jennie and finds her laughing at something that Irene whispers to her over the loud music. 

“Here, I got you something!” Lisa shouts as she nudges Jennie’s shoulder. 

Jennie takes the drink, thanking her with a soft smile and Irene snorts, narrowing her eyes at Lisa. 

“You didn’t get me one?”

“I-” she starts. “You didn’t even-!”

“Relax!” Irene laughs, rolling her eyes and leaning forward to pinch her cheek. 

“I’ll get my own.”

“I would have got you one if you wanted,” she mumbles but Irene is already walking off and looking over her shoulder to wave at Jennie. 

Lisa looks down into the cup, seeing it slosh around as she leans against the wall and Jennie briefly looks up at her before taking a small sip and making a face as she swallows. 

“What is this?” she frowns. 

Lisa smiles around the rim of her cup as she takes a drink and swirls it around. “Vodka and ginger ale....I think? Do you not want alcohol? I can go back and get you something else-”

“It’s okay,” she shakes her head and takes another small sip before looking around the room. 

There’s a couple making out on the couch, a few people standing by the TV watching the live feed of everyone down in Times Square, and someone who looks like Joy, smoking weed next to the open window. 

Lisa takes another sip of her drink and nudges Jennie, who looks over at her. “I’m glad you came with me.”

Her smiles are always slow, like she’s taking the time to listen to what you have to say, before she can physically respond. Lisa likes that. She likes that a _lot_ and she likes it even more when Jennie takes a sip from her cup and leans up to quietly say, “I’m glad I came with you too.”

Her fingers dig into her shoulder blade and Lisa sets her cup down on the fold-out table beside her, using her free arm to wrap it around Jennie’s waist. The music is still rattling the walls and it’s hard to hear everything over the other voices all around her, but she looks at Jennie and Jennie looks at her and it almost feels like that fear that she harbored before- that the fear she held so close to her chest- isn’t there anymore.

In this little corner, tucked away from the rest of the party and partially shrouded by the plants; Lisa almost doesn’t feel scared anymore. 

Before she can say anything, someone yells that it’s 11:59 pm and Lisa looks up to see Chaeyoung standing on top of the table clutching a bottle of beer by the neck. 

Everyone is shouting, some rushing to crowd around the TV, others grabbing their partner's hand and pulling them close, while some people find someone who will kiss them. Lisa sees Jisoo and Seulgi standing off in the corner, the older woman holding her best friend close as she stares back at her. Yugyeom has his arms around Bambam’s neck, unofficially claiming him for the countdown, and Irene is talking to some girl that she doesn’t recognize, but Lisa sees their interlocked hands and thinks that it might be Tzuyu. 

“Forty seconds!” Sungjin shouts over the roar of the music. People begin cheering and Lisa swallows as she turns to see Jennie setting her cup down.

_Ask her!_ The voice screams in her head. 

She bites her lower lip as Jennie turns inward, her eyes peeking underneath her lashes to smile hesitantly at the other girl.

_Ask her now!_

Should she? 

They said that they would take this slow and they _have_ for the most part. Lisa doesn’t think that anyone in the history of dating can take it as slow as they have. Jennie never pushed her, never grew impatient, or wanted more. 

What Lisa gave her, it was always enough. But was it enough now?

_“Twenty seconds!”_

“I like you!” she blurts out suddenly. 

The crowd around them is growing louder and as they eventually melt into a chant when the countdown starts, Lisa can feel her face turning red and her fingers digging into the skin on Jennie’s hip. 

Her heart drops into the pit of her stomach and she feels so stupid. Is this what it feels like to mess everything up? 

Tears sting the back of her eyes and Lisa bites down on her bottom lip as Jennie leans up and cards a hand through her hair.

_“Six!”_

_It was too soon,_ she thinks to herself. 

_“Five!”_

Jennie blinks up at her and her eyes are so bright underneath the flashy lights and the alcohol that colors her cheeks and the tip of her nose.

_“Four!”_

“Look at me when you say that so I know you mean it, Lisa.”

She licks her lips and blinks repeatedly before catching Jennie’s gaze and pulling her in so she’s pressed up against her front. Jennie moves fluidly, her arms coming to hold onto the back of her neck and Lisa presses their foreheads together, feeling the sweat and smelling her perfume.

_“Three!”_

She takes a deep breath and Jennie nudges their noses together.

_“Two!”_

“I like _you_. I like you a whole lot,” she breathes. 

A pop goes off behind her and the collective screaming of _Happy New Year!_ makes her ears ring as Jennie leans up and seals their lips together.

It’s better than anything she could have ever imagined. She can taste the alcohol on her breath but it’s not overpowering because she can also taste something that is wholly _Jennie_. She kisses her back hesitantly, because she’s still unsure, but Jennie just waits like she always does. Her lips move against her own slowly and her fingers glide up until she can grab ahold of Lisa’s hair and hold onto it. When she pulls back, Lisa’s eyes flutter open and Jennie stares at her, gauging whether or not Lisa actually wants this and she nods her head frantically. 

She _wants_ this. 

“Okay,” Jennie smiles shyly and Lisa doesn’t wait, she just surges forward and kisses her hard.

A tongue probes at her lips and Lisa lets her in, chasing this emotion that has crawled into her chest ever since she met Jennie. It runs throughout her bloodstream and shocks her to her core as Jennie bites on her lip and tugs it. Her fingers should be making bruises on her hip by now but Jennie doesn’t object, she just tilts her head and deepens the kiss. 

When they finally pull away to catch their breath, confetti is raining down on them and Lisa looks up, watches as the colorful paper swirls in the air and lands on one of her eyes. She blinks it away and Jennie is already grabbing her attention by touching her neck. There’s confetti in her hair and her smile is so wide that Lisa laughs and pecks her on the mouth, tasting something that feels like elation and like all of her dreams are finally coming true. 

She kisses her again because she can and Jennie laughs, her eyes forming into crescents as she pushes her back half-heartedly.

This feels like a breath of fresh air.

* * *

“Still awake?”

Lisa rolls over on her side, coming face-to-face with Jennie as she yawns into her pillow. 

“Sorry,” Lisa whispers. “I know I was moving around a lot.”

They had a Toy Story marathon earlier at Jennie’s insistence, and Lisa had made them a big bowl of popcorn, both of the girls gorging themselves on soda and sweets until they had finished all the movies and Lisa felt like she was going to vomit. 

Jennie was sprawled across her lap on the couch, the blanket dangling off of one of her legs, when they both fell asleep as the ending credits rolled in the background. Lisa hadn’t realized how long she had slept until Jennie woke up and that startled her as she looked outside and saw that it was pitch black. 

Now, she was wide awake and even after taking a shower and listening to Jennie read a book to her off of her shelf, it still hadn’t made her tired. 

“You hungry?” Jennie asked her quietly. 

“You heard my stomach?” she frowned. 

Jennie nodded, tucking her lips together to keep herself from laughing, but it was useless. She giggled into Lisa’s shoulder until the younger girl was laughing as well and pushing her off half-heartedly. 

“I can make you something.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

Jennie sat up, her hair messy from the pillow but it was so endearing that Lisa pulled her closer so she could press a kiss to her forehead. She trailed her lips down the slope of her nose and pecked her mouth, smiling when Jennie leaned forward and licked her top lip. 

“Ramen!” she said wiggling her eyebrows. 

Lisa snorted but she let Jennie drag her out of the bed and push her from behind in the direction of her kitchenette. Jennie’s apartment was bigger than Lisa’s but most of the square footage was in the living room and her bedroom. Her kitchen was smaller with just three countertops of space, a fridge, a stove, and a microwave that she set up on a small fold-out table. 

“Sit,” Jennie instructed her, pushing her towards the couch. 

“I’ll call you when I’m done.”

When Lisa fell back against the cushions, she grabbed Jennie’s hand and pulled her over so she could give her knuckles a kiss, and the blush that it elicited was completely worth it. 

As she scrolled through Twitter, liking posts and commenting under a picture of Chaeyoung sitting in some girl’s lap, Lisa heard Jennie humming to herself underneath her breath and ventured off the couch. 

Her sock-clad feet shuffled along the tiles as she snuck up behind Jennie and gently held her by her hips. She peeked over her shoulder to see the water boiling in the pot along with some pieces of spam, kimchi, and the noodles. 

Lisa kissed the back of her neck and moved with her as she grabbed the seasoning packet and ripped it open before adding it to the pot. 

“It smells good,” she murmured. 

The heat wafted up to their faces, warming their skin and causing Lisa to lick her lips as Jennie gently stirred it with her chopsticks. 

“I ran out of eggs,” she frowned. “So it might not be all that.”

“I don’t care. Anything you make is always good.”

Jennie snorted and let it cook for a little bit longer before she nudged Lisa back and moved over to take the pot off the stove. Lisa grabbed two bowls out of the dish rack and followed her to the living room as she set the pot on the table and took a seat on the floor. 

“Thank you for the food,” Lisa smiled. 

Jennie pinched her cheek and dipped her chopsticks in the soup, tasting them quickly and twirled some around her chopsticks before putting it in Lisa’s bowl. They ate quietly, the only sounds being of them slurping the noodles and chewing the spam that Jennie had cooked. Lisa blew on a piece of kimchi and fed it to Jennie, watching as her cheeks bunched up because she already had a mouthful of noodles. 

When they finished, Lisa drank the rest of the broth and laughed when Jennie smacked her shoulder and scraped the bottom of the pot for some pieces of kimchi and the noodles that were stuck to the ceramic. 

“That was the best ramen that I have ever eaten in my life,” Lisa moaned, stretching her arms above her head before she leaned back against the couch. 

Jennie laughed and crawled across the carpet, throwing herself over Lisa’s lap and smiling when the younger girl bent down and kissed her. 

“You taste like MSG,” she breathed against her lips. 

Lisa pecked her once more and then again and then again until Jennie pushed her away and muttered, _“sap,”_ underneath her breath. 

“Five more minutes and then I’ll do the dishes.”

Jennie hummed and closed her eyes, her face turning towards the open window as the breeze swept in. Lisa ran her fingers down the side of her neck and moved her shirt aside as she kissed the skin of her shoulder. 

“Then we sleep?”

“Yeah,” Lisa yawned. “Then we go to sleep.”


End file.
